Hellboy (2004) – Review

In the last days of WWII, desperate to change the course of the war, occult Nazis open a portal to hell; this is a classic occult Nazi tactic that will doubtless be familiar to you. Although US special forces eventually manage to close the portal before reality itself is unwritten, something still manages to come through.

That something is a juvenile demon, named “Hellboy” by the remaining allied troops. Initially intended to be a world-ending weapon for the Third Reich, the baby monster is instead adopted by a scientist and taken to the US. Years pass, and the demon becomes a vital asset to humanity, fighting monsters as part of the BPRD (Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defence).

In 2004, occult Nazis are nothing but a distant memory, except – surprise! – they’re all still alive and now they’re back to open a new portal to hell and unleash chaos. Hellboy’s attempts to stop them are hampered by both his complicated personal life and the way that everything he does plays right into their hands.

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We Still Kill the Old Way (2014) – Review

stillkillWhen his brother is killed by a teenage gang, a retired East End mobster gathers his old crew to settle the score.

Normally I’d go into more detail here, but that’s pretty much the entire concept. It’s a battle of old versus new, hoodies versus suits, respect versus modernity.

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Death Wish (2018) – Review

220px-Death_wish_2017_posterWhen the police can’t protect a surgeon’s family, he takes the law into his own hands; with his wife dead and his daughter paralysed, Paul Kersey (Bruce Willis) becomes the “Grim Reaper”, a hooded (technically hoodied) vigilante. Continue reading “Death Wish (2018) – Review”

Doctor Strange (2016) – Review

A1dZex6UxyL._RI_SX300_After a brilliant but arrogant surgeon loses the use of his hands in an accident, his search for healing takes him beyond science and medicine to strange realms of magic.

With new power comes new responsibility, as though that’s a common theme to all Marvel plots or something. Our reality is under threat, and Doctor Strange has to fully embrace the powers he only half-understands in order to fight back.

 

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Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018) – Review

Mamma Mia 2018 review

Why do you watch musicals? If you have any sense, you go for the music and dancing. It is a fatal mistake to actually notice the story, script, or underlying themes.

If you like ABBA songs (yes, you do), then you will enjoy the music and dancing in Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again. If you are a fool like me, and make the mistake of having more than two brain cells, then you will wish for death. Here, in no particular order, are all the reasons why I hated this film. Here, I am very much afraid, we go again.

 

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Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) – Review

gotgA rag-tag bands of space-mercenaries rattles around the galaxy. They take dirty jobs for low pay and stay mostly one step ahead of the law/various people who want to kill them.

Peter Quill, also known as Star Lord, wants to find his father. Others in the gang which to survive/profit, or have no particular motivation. They travel from planet to planet fighting humanoid aliens with different-coloured skin and non-humanoid aliens with large teeth.   Continue reading “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) – Review”

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) – Review

tmntNew York is in danger from gun-wielding ninja gangs, robot samurai, and corrupt scientists. The citizens have only one hope, and no one knows about them.

April O’Neil, a reporter who is more intrepid than her job allows, discovers hints of the existence of a secret vigilante force: a group of ninjas who are also giant talking turtles.
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